CV-time baby! It needs checking no matter how clever you are.

Hello there!

It’s been a while and I know you’ve missed me, unless you don’t know that you’ve missed me but, don’t worry, you have. To get you up to date: it’s summer, I’ve graduated and I need a job… so I need a CV!

I’m actually on my way from York to Newcastle today in order to get my CV checked for the second time (yes, I require a second time and I didn’t even think it was that bad!). The service provided is so good that I’m willing to travel 90 miles up north especially (in a stinky coach sat next to a stinking bloke ‘cos I’m skint).

Yes – CV. It’s important. I keep hearing that “doing one well is vital!” so I’m going to try and quickly convince you that it is. So if I do manage to persuade you, or if you didn’t ever need persuading, my advice is: the Careers Advisers have lots of experience and a very good idea of CVs so GO TO THE CAREERS SERVICE AND GET IT CHECKED!!

If you don’t you may (I want to write ‘will’ here but I realise that isn’t strictly true (although it’s definitely more accurate than ‘may’!)) miss out on jobs without them ever meeting your smart, lovable self in person! And if that isn’t quite the case (that is, you being lovely) I suppose you miss the opportunity to attune for your bumbling buffoon-like interview personality with a superb written account of your boudless abilities (I’m sure)!

By the way, I had the lovely Nadia, an avid blog-reader, as my Careers Adviser and she helped me thoroughly, so here’s a shout out to her blog-styley! I am assured, however, that all the advisers are equally smart and lovable.

Right. Now that I’ve made my play at getting you to go to the Careers Service, I can give you a bit of advice, so that you don’t turn up looking like a right moo, which would have helped me.

I realise I’m stating the obvious here but a CV is all about selling yourself.

You have to be arrogant and show-off even if that doesn’t come naturally (I find that getting my Mum to write bits for me helps in this department). For example, you may have got a 1st with commendations and awards and all sorts of platitudes coming out of your belly-button ‘n’ ear-hole ‘n’ elsewhere. However, if all you write is a summary of the awards you received, it seems, the people reading your CV will not understand that you’re a brilliant person who they need to employ instantly. You have to instead say something like “I performed remarkably well throughout the three years of Newcastle University’s very demanding Environment course, exemplified by me being voted biggest-brain in the big-head competition“. Well not that exactly because that sounds rubbish and anyone with commendations coming out of their ear-hole would write something way better!

Making the most of experiences and achievements that are relevant to the job you’re applying for and saying directly how they are relevant is also important.

Again, you have to spell it out because the people who read them are themselves buffoons (I’m positive about this!!). Although if you manage to get called for interview that attitude isn’t conducive to getting employed, which I hope you do do and I give you all the luck that is physically possible for one person via a virtual connection to give!

This covers the basics to what I found out the first time I went about my CV, I most certainly wouldn’t follow what I say word-for-word but the rudimentary ideas I missed are here. Just go see a Careers Adviser! 🙂

By Nicky Noo-Noo