It is now September again. But no longer a student I am. Things are about to change.

On the train to London, I found myself starring into the trees flying past the window, so fast, they looked like hundreds of parallel lines.

It was an interesting moment. I was as if completely sucked into a space of nothingness, but also, enjoying it. It wasn’t exactly a moment of quietness and peace, but something like that.

After an exhausting summer – doing a fulltime 12-weeks placement, looking for jobs, not getting jobs, getting very depressed about not getting jobs – I was here, on the train to London, where I’ll be starting another unpaid fulltime internship, I found that finally, here was a moment I could sort of relax, or rather, to stop worrying, fearing, and stressing. Actually, I could stop thinking altogether – because the decision is already made.

I was thinking nothing. And believe me that felt good.

I’m glad that I made my choice. It might not be the best, but I’ll hope for and try the best.

And there is pressure, always mounting pressure.

For me it’s hard not to compare with others. I graduated a year ago with a Bachelor’s degree, and decided to go on to do a Master. Whereas some of my then university friends have been working and changing for better jobs since graduation.

Others like me, who continued with their education, some are lucky enough to have found jobs already; some will have a very promising degree-related future; and some are still struggling, sort of like me.

Everybody wants to move on with their life and enter the next phase fairly quickly. Well at least some of us do. And I can’t help thinking that somehow, I’m already left behind.

However, having experienced so many uncertainties and difficulties, there is one thing that I do not regret. That is I completed a Master’s degree. I’m actually proud of it. I did what I enjoyed doing, and I made the most out of it. Some others may have been one step ahead of me in many aspects, but I wouldn’t change my choices for theirs, because it is my life, and I make my own future.