i’m a deli assistant!

woo yeah 5 years at Uni = me doing the washing up for 8 hours a day (not including the time at the end of the day when i do it for mum and dad as a token of my thanks for them still caring for me at the age of 23!!)

it’s not all bad though i get free lunches and out of date meat that might make me properly sick.

woohoo and the government wants 50% of the population to spend 20 grand so that they can be like me!

madness!

if this doesn’t make you want to go out and find the job you want now you’re probably a bit unbalanced.

i might sound bitter but i’m not. i’m doing what i want i’m writing and i’m being creative. and noone pays you to be creative until you’ve actually done something and got people’s attention in the first place.

i just read ann’s blog and i love the chinese saying

“you can’t become chubby with just one bite”

i suppose it means either ‘if you’re fat it’s your fault cos you’ve been a bit of a heffer and scoffed all the sweets on several occasions’

but it can also be taken to mean ‘if your desire is to get fat then you’ve got to work at it and keep eating!’ well that’s what i’m doing and that out of date meat might be dodgy but it’s definitely making me stronger.

I’m applying for the national and local newspapers and everything in between.

Here’s what to do:

1. Read the paper where you’re applying to work and get a feel for it.

2. Telephone the paper and ask for the name and job title of the person who deals with work experience applications. This is where you will address your application and it will give you bonus points.

3. Send a letter of application (including dates of availability) and a “journalism” CV (one that shows relevant experiences/achievements that will show you’re a good candidate).

4. Include with your CV cuttings of your published work. If you have none write a review of a film/book/tv programme/concert or write a comment piece about a subject that has been running in that newspaper.

Good luck! Maybe I’ll see you on the other side.

PS. While you wait for a response keep busy writing. I like to watch football games and write my own match report and compare it against the one that is in the paper the following morning for tips. At the moment, though, I’m writing a sit-com and you never know it might mean I can skip this tedious stage out!

Hello!

I’m depressed. I graduated with a 2:1 nearly 3 months ago. I still don’t have a job and I’m claiming JSA. :'(

A quick synopsis of my plight so far goes as follows…
I’ve never really known what I want to do as a career. Recently, though, I have decided I like writing and I think I’m good at it, so I’m going to pursue it. There isn’t exactly an abundance of jobs floating around at the moment, however, so I’m applying for work experience.

This whole situation wouldn’t be so depressing if I had been more pro-active while I was at University – making full use of the available contacts and opportunities.

Hello there!

It’s been a while and I know you’ve missed me, unless you don’t know that you’ve missed me but, don’t worry, you have. To get you up to date: it’s summer, I’ve graduated and I need a job… so I need a CV!

I’m actually on my way from York to Newcastle today in order to get my CV checked for the second time (yes, I require a second time and I didn’t even think it was that bad!). The service provided is so good that I’m willing to travel 90 miles up north especially (in a stinky coach sat next to a stinking bloke ‘cos I’m skint).

Yes – CV. It’s important. I keep hearing that “doing one well is vital!” so I’m going to try and quickly convince you that it is. So if I do manage to persuade you, or if you didn’t ever need persuading, my advice is: the Careers Advisers have lots of experience and a very good idea of CVs so GO TO THE CAREERS SERVICE AND GET IT CHECKED!!

If you don’t you may (I want to write ‘will’ here but I realise that isn’t strictly true (although it’s definitely more accurate than ‘may’!)) miss out on jobs without them ever meeting your smart, lovable self in person! And if that isn’t quite the case (that is, you being lovely) I suppose you miss the opportunity to attune for your bumbling buffoon-like interview personality with a superb written account of your boudless abilities (I’m sure)!

By the way, I had the lovely Nadia, an avid blog-reader, as my Careers Adviser and she helped me thoroughly, so here’s a shout out to her blog-styley! I am assured, however, that all the advisers are equally smart and lovable.

Right. Now that I’ve made my play at getting you to go to the Careers Service, I can give you a bit of advice, so that you don’t turn up looking like a right moo, which would have helped me.

I realise I’m stating the obvious here but a CV is all about selling yourself.

You have to be arrogant and show-off even if that doesn’t come naturally (I find that getting my Mum to write bits for me helps in this department). For example, you may have got a 1st with commendations and awards and all sorts of platitudes coming out of your belly-button ‘n’ ear-hole ‘n’ elsewhere. However, if all you write is a summary of the awards you received, it seems, the people reading your CV will not understand that you’re a brilliant person who they need to employ instantly. You have to instead say something like “I performed remarkably well throughout the three years of Newcastle University’s very demanding Environment course, exemplified by me being voted biggest-brain in the big-head competition“. Well not that exactly because that sounds rubbish and anyone with commendations coming out of their ear-hole would write something way better!

Making the most of experiences and achievements that are relevant to the job you’re applying for and saying directly how they are relevant is also important.

Again, you have to spell it out because the people who read them are themselves buffoons (I’m positive about this!!). Although if you manage to get called for interview that attitude isn’t conducive to getting employed, which I hope you do do and I give you all the luck that is physically possible for one person via a virtual connection to give!

This covers the basics to what I found out the first time I went about my CV, I most certainly wouldn’t follow what I say word-for-word but the rudimentary ideas I missed are here. Just go see a Careers Adviser! 🙂

By Nicky Noo-Noo

Yes, it is getting on for 3AM and I am here writing this blog! No I am not mental, I am in fact in a buoyant, optimistic and strangely positive mood! Yes these are outlandish feelings for me (especially when “career-thought” is involved) and so I am unsure as to how to deal with them other than to let you know all about it!

Earlier tonight, whilst waiting for some Jerry Seinfeld stand-up to download, I decided to fill in that ‘What Next?’ brochure I was rattling on about last post. The one that asks questions about your interests and skills with the aim of hopefully narrowing down what kind of job is suitable for you yourself!

I have discovered a definite area of interest, so hold your breath and I’ll come back to it later.

Since going through this process I have realised that there was a key issue I had to deal with before I could make any real progress in my search for a befitting career.

My problem has always been being amazing at EVERYTHING!

Well not exactly, of course not. But I do like to think I’m multi-talented. However, this, my friend, is a curse! I’m good at most things… to a ‘good’ standard. I don’t excel at anything 🙁 I’m highly skilled in NOTHING!

Lots of my friends have done a ‘specialist’ degree, automatically condemning them to Nick’s Most Despised Creature Crew (Hitler is in there aswell), simply because they are sorted in life (doctors, town-planners, graphic designers… you know the sort…). They’ve made the decision to pursue a particular profession and have got on with making it a reality. I’m still stuck here with my hands in my pockets.

This, really, is where “The Brochure” comes into its own! I was able to identify my skills with my interests and out came possible jobs I might like. This was achieved via the recommended Prospects Planner (www.prospects.ac.uk), which is like those ‘Career Finders’ you did in Secondary School, for which you’d answer a billion questions, only for your perfect-match, dream-job to come out as Deforestation Officer! It’s that kind of thing, only this one helps.

As it turns out, my ‘profile’ (which took 15 mins max to set up) does actually match-up with certain vocations. This is big news my friend!

Before i was a lost puppy, now I am still a lost puppy BUT my owner has decided to get off his ass and plaster a load of ‘LOST’ posters about town (with a very accurate personality and skills description… LOST: 6ft4in shaggy terrier, introspective and risk-taker, £4 reward for safe return… alive or dead)!

So at last I have a bit of direction and am now able to start thinking about an action plan with my Careers Advisor! And because you’re all on the edge of your seats and have obviously been holding your breath, I’d better cut to the chase! I should be looking at ‘Publishing, Media and Performing Arts’.

Buzzing after my first ever cup of coffee courtesy of the Careers Service, I’ve only gone and been proactive in the next, crucial step of my (and, if you’re reading this, your) life – finding a career! Yes it is scary so it’s the perfect time to start being proactive (like them fancy yoghurts).

This morning I had innocently dropped into the Careers Service for a chat with our blog tutor and this is where the caffeine-induced-high-whirlwind began…

Remarkably, it turns out that there is a drop-in clinic for your very own Careers Advisor. Turn up and they’ll see you there and then (from 11AM onwards) for a 15 minute introductory chat.

I did this, knowing full well that:

my idea of the road my life is heading down comes to an abrupt and foggy conclusion in June next year (graduation).

… it was probably the right move to make.

I’m doing a Linguistics degree – my third degree since being at Newcastle (yes you may know me as Van Wilder). I did Modern Languages for a year but I realised they were boring. So I tried the exact opposite (Maths, Economics and Accounting). Big mistake.
So Linguistics is my last-ditch effort, the subject a wild stab in the dark. It doesn’t have anything to do with what I want to do… because…

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO!!! (apart from be a professional footballer or a rock star).

It’s the “just get some qualification and you’ll be fine!” approach but, it appears, things don’t work out like that, things don’t just fall into place like they have done so far since primary school.
The key point is simple – you have to start thinking hard about YOU (and the sooner the better).

That’s what Dave my Careers Advisor told me. He gave me a brochure that helped crystallise my thoughts on what I want to be. It’s simple stuff really: what motivates you, what you enjoy, what sort of life you want etc.
And when I’ve filled this out I just pop back to the Careers Service and they’ll book me in for a longer 45 minute appointment, so that he can look through it and offer up some of his wisdom. Who knows, he might tell me I should be a rock star.

All I really know is that I want to be rich and successful and enjoy my job… that’s all I ask! It might sound selfish but that’s kind of the point – it’s my life and I want holidays in warm countries!

And now it’s time to reflect in a cheesy manner:
It’s an open road folks, you just need to put some petrol in the tank.