So, what becomes of the broken hearted? With any luck they pick themselves up, dust themselves down, and get on with finishing their PhDs!

It wasn’t on my agenda to be a single man again this year and the pain of breaking up with my girlfriend I have been with through my many years as a postgraduate at Newcastle is a little too much to take. In my February post I hinted at the strains doing a PhD can have on your relationship. That was because my then girlfriend had decided she wanted to take a break from me for three months. This really devastated me and no matter what she said it sounded like she was dumping me. It’s hard not to take it personally when she decides she doesn’t want to see you or have any contact with you for a few months. I was left to get on with my work, and although every day was a struggle, I got a reasonable amount done.

I was really looking forward to coming home, to seeing her again and hopefully being able to clear the air. Ideally, to see us get back together having let her have the space to decide what she really wanted. I missed her so much and I had hoped she would have missed me. It was the longest time we had ever been apart, despite us keeping a relationship going which was long distance at times with me in Newcastle. I did not want what happened last week to happen.

She told me that she did not want to see me, that our relationship wasn’t working for her anymore and that while we were on a break she met someone else. She could not even bear to see me to tell me this face to face which was even more upsetting. I clung to the hope that things would be alright, now everything is in tatters and I feel even more hurt by her actions than I ever thought possible.

So what about looking on the bright side? Well at the point I am at in my PhD, and as I look to find a job, it is good that I will now have nothing to restrict me. I am a free agent again and can go where I please. The trouble with that is, is that I really liked the idea of settling down and wanted us to be doing this as a couple. I’m sure I shall meet someone else again, but for the moment a relationship probably wouldn’t be a good idea. But adjusting to the single life again is not easy, when everything I see reminds me of her and the good times that we had together. But after this, even good memories become painful ones when I think of her.

I am back at home for a few more weeks and then in May I shall go back to Newcastle. Down here I have family and friends to help me through this. Back up in Newcastle I know I will be able to count on the support of my supervisors and of my friends there. Over the past few months everyone has been so kind to me and supportive. I really do feel lucky. It is at times like these you learn who in your life really cares for you.