Reflective Blog

Throughout this last semester, I have come very far in terms of my development of effective communication and creative problem solving. I feel like I have become more assured in myself as a communicator due to the tips, techniques and advice I have found from my research. Sometimes due to my lack of confidence and dyslexia I can stumble over my words or feel as though I do not make sense but since beginning this development journey, I have found that I take a second, have a deep breath and really think about what it is I want to say. This has made my communication much more clear and conscise and therefore effective. The responsibility that being a mentor gave me was both challenging and an opportunity for me to take on a new role. My wider development has benefitted from the peer mentoring scheme and the graduate development module as I have developed my research and reflective skills. I have never had to reflect as much as I have recently and it has really benefitted my self awareness. I had to think about my strengths and weaknesses and the impact of these on both my everyday life and my development. I’m not going to lie and say it hasn’t been a struggle, especially because of the lack of engagement I was faced with but, I no longer feel worried or awkward if I have to speak to a group or if I was in a mentor role in the future. Under the circumstances of the semester and my mentor group, I think I reacted well and still managed to continue learning and developing.

I chose the goal of effective communication, not just to benefit my role as a peer mentor but to help me in my wider development as at university, in my future pgce and then my career as a teacher, effective communication is integral. From researching different aspects of effective communication, I found that there were some slight changes that can be made to the way we communicate that make all the difference. For example, your tone of voice used when communicating is often overlooked but from my research I found that the tone in which someone says something has a huge impact on the delivery and reception. Another thing I think will benefit me in my day to day life is being an active listener. I know from my own experience how much I appreciate when I feel like I am being actively listened to. Throughout the last semester at university I found this particularly when speaking with one member of staff. During our conversations I felt as though they were interested and wanted to hear what I had to say and that consequently made me open up more and feel more comfortable. As a future teacher, I wish to be able to mirror this.

During the first few weeks of the peer mentoring scheme, it became apparent to me that my mentees timetables often clashed meaning that there seemed to be no time where we were all free to meet. I wanted to try and nip this problem in the bud and put together a doodle poll with different times available in the week for them to vote when they could attend a meeting. After prompting them to complete the poll for over a week, I finally had some responses to try and work with. Only 4/7 mentees completed the form so I still didn’t have the full picture but from the votes on the poll, no more than 3 people could meet at the same time. I did not have the time in my schedule to run 3+ meetings a week to meet with everyone so I knew that this was a challenge I would not be able to fully solve. As a temporary solution, I chose a time when the most people could meet and made it clear that if the others wanted or needed to, they could meet with me at a separate time or I would be happy to move meetings online to make them more accessible. Due to the lack of appeal for using zoom now when things are back in person mostly, the zoom sessions I did run, that people said they would join, had no attendance. I continued to try and brainstorm ideas that could help the situation but nothing seemed to work, I tried to set meetings similar to office hours where they knew I would be at a certain place for an afternoon, but no one attended. It was difficult to accept that maybe they didn’t need my mentorship and guidance anymore. After the first two weeks and all of their initial questions out of the way, they seemed to settle in to university very well and no longer required the scheme. This didn’t cross my mind at the time because my head was clouded by my own experience of settling into university which was quite negative.

After the lack of engagement from my mentees, I decided that it would be a good idea to ask my Mentor leader for some feedback in order to try and get an outsiders perspective of my success in the role. I originally planned to get my mentees to fill out a survey but only 1 out of 7 responded so it was difficult to gauge the general concensus.

My Mentor leader said “Throughout the peer mentor scheme you have worked hard to try and keep engagement up when your mentees weren’t too keen on getting involved in the scheme. At each stage you have tried to find new ways to boost attendance at meetings, due to the lack of your mentees turning up, such as coming up with plans for meetings and holding them at inclusive places. You provided all information that they asked for about the university. You kept all lines of communication open and made sure they were aware of all events going on in CH. You have been a very good peer mentor and have helped your mentees make the most possible out of the programme.”

After trying so hard to communicate effectively and solve problems creatively recieving some positive feedback really set my mind at ease regarding whether I had fulfilled my role to the best of my ability. When you are part of a team of Peer Mentors it is easy to compare yourself to others who have had great engagement and participation from their mentees. One thing that was also helpful was hearing other people’s struggles with attendance and realising that I wasn’t alone, it was a running theme across this years scheme. By asking others of their advice, I found that no one had an answer of how to solve my problems I was having in my role, which although frustrating, was helpful.

After researching how to think outside the box to solve problems I decided that it would be a good idea to make a meeting agenda to try and implement my research in an organised way.

From my research I found that in order to ‘think outside the box’, I must define and measure the problem, admit when I don’t know or understand what to do and then begin again if things don’t go right. By defining what the problem is, what the contents of the box are, per say, helps to ultimately deal with the problem. All the necessary material to solve a problem are within it. Thinking outside the box means that you cast off the atmosphere that envelops you, leaving your previous experiences and mindsets/attitudes behind and view things from a different perspective.

I read when researching thinking outside the box that slipping into a new role was helpful in changing your perspective. When a problem arose I therefore tried to put myself in a different role, not as the mentor of someone but as a friend, what advice would I give them for their problem now? The responsibility that came with being a peer mentor seemed to affect my decision making and problem solving skills as I felt unequipped for the role, not due to lack of training rather confidence. Perhaps I should have focused on gaining more confidence as a goal of personal development… But, I found that slipping into a new role changed the way I thought about things, quite drastically. For example, when my mentees were not attending meetings or replying to my messages, as myself, their peer mentor wanted to keep on trying to engage them by messaging and planning new, interesting meetings. Then when I changed my role/perspective and thought what an outsider would do, I realised that continuing to message them was not effective and instead I should leave it for a while until they decide to reply or interact. It seemed the more I messaged, the less they replied or read the messages. It was difficult for me to let go in a way as I felt like I was failing as a mentor because my group were not engaging with the scheme but by changing my perspective, it allowed me to take a step back and recognise that things are out of my hands. To try and solve the problem, I had to leave the problem alone as nothing I could do would solve it.

5 steps I decided to take to evaluate my specific problem that was inhibiting my role were:

1. Try to eliminate the problem – I couldn’t physically do this
2. Try to shrink the problem – This was a great problem for me as a lack of engagement from my mentees not only affected my role but my module/assessment
3. See if you can delegate the problem to someone else – I could go to others for advice, but there was nothing they could do about it
4. Ask yourself what insight would make the problem easier to solve – having more training or experience may have helped me to solve the problem as well as making some different decisions earlier on in the role
5. Question whether you actually need to solve the problem right now – By the time I sat down to try and solve this problem, it was already December and some other mentors already stopped working with their mentees as they didn’t require their help anymore. I just had to accept that this may be the case and that I should stop trying to solve the problem and use the things I have learned in a wider sense.

After I realised there was not much in my power I could do to solve the problem in a short space of time, I decided that there were many things I could have done to prevent problems arising that I did not do. For example, if I had made it clearer at the beginning that my role was voluntary and I required their participation for my module, in addition to it being beneficial to them, maybe they would have been more likely to attend. Overall, my research in solving problems by thinking outside the box has been helpful in the long run as it has given me tips and strategies for approaching future problems but has mainly made me reflect on what I did wrong earlier in the process.

During November I observed a lecturer that I have for one of my modules (on a different module of his) as I believe that he would be a good example of effective communication when delivering information to a group. I sat through a one hour lecture and took notes on what I thought was model communication that may help me in my role and wider life.

This lecture was online, not in person so it was interesting to see how he maintained good communication even through a screen and pre-recorded. The pace of the lecture made a significant difference to the impact of the communication. It didn’t seem to go too fast or too slow, which can sometimes hinder communicaton and also he made sure there was time for people to ask questions and to sum up what had been said. I found that this must be important during my mentor meetings and then also future communication as it ensures that everything is clear and creates an open space for questions. I think doing this in my peer mentor meetings, whether they are in person or on zoom will really benefit my meetings and allow my mentees to feel as though they have the option to ask questions and completely understand what it is being said.

One thing I found unhelpful for my circumstances and thought potentially inhibited the communication of the lecturer was his use of complex vocabulary. There is nothing worse than not understanding what it is someone is trying to say as it really does affect your understanding and the exchange of communication and in this case, the lecture contained some flowery language which was quite jarring. Although, upon reflection I can see that observing a lecturer may not be as helpful as observing another Peer mentor in one of their meetings due to the nature of the communication being totally different. Overall, I found the experience eye opening as I believe it will help me in the future as I train to be a teacher but in hindsight, I should have arranged more opportunities for observation of different types of communicators in order to expand my research and development.

During the weeks commencing 25th October and 1st November, I implemented my findings on how to remain positive in the face of problems and tried to shift my mentality from negative to positive in general. At these meetings one of my mentees came to me saying that they wanted to stop doing one of their three subjects they had chosen. This was after the deadline date of dropping/changing modules so when I first heard that she was hoping to stop doing one of her subjects I immediately worried because I knew this deadline had passed.

Instead of panicking and stressing out like I would have previously done, I took a moment to collect my thoughts and calmly tried to brainstorm a solution. I had been in a similar situation myself in my first year of university and I went to seek advice and I was told to give it another month. I told my mentee to attend the lectures and seminars and put 100% effort in to the subject over the next month and see if that made any difference. A lot of the time we restrict ourselves from enjoying things due to having a negative mindset. This mentee was very successful in their A-level in this subject and really enjoyed it usually so I knew that she would not want to give up so easily. Despite me trying my best to advise my mentee positively, I had to accept that ultimately it is out of my hands whether they choose to continue with the subject or not and if they came back and still wishes to drop the subject, all I could do was refer them to the correct member of staff. I was able to positively see this as an opportunity to reinspire my mentee’s love for their subject and if that didn’t work then they were not meant to do that at university. By flipping my perspective and purposely trying to be positive I found that I could solve challenges more easily.

Having a more positive attitude at my meetings in general was extremely beneficial as it meant I was able to reassure my mentees that things will improve if they were struggling. A good mentor should communicate optimism and hope. By sharing my own struggles throughout the first term of university, I was able to instill hope and optimism in my mentees and could show them first hand that these challenges will pass. Although many stressful situations will continue to occur during my role as a peer mentor, I now feel more equipped to handle them in a more positive way, making me a more effective and successful mentor. Maintaining a positive attitude really helped me to solve any ‘problems’ as professionally as possible.

One thing I struggle with in general is remaining positive, nevermind in stressful situations and solving problems in my role as a peer mentor. I knew I had to make this something I focus on as it will hopefully have a profound effect if I can find some effective tips. A website called ‘Entrepreneur’ helped me to see the stress that I have faced in my life in a different way. It said ‘without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know and developed the qualitites of your character to where they are today’. Instead of viewing new problems as negative, I should see them as a positive, something I can learn from.

The conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, either positive or negative and by deliberately choosing a positive thought, you can keep your mind optimistic and your emotions positive. Since thoughts and feelings determine a persons actions,this will help me to move forward more rapidly towards my goals. Another tip I found was changing my language from negative to positive. Instead of using ‘problem’, say ‘situation’, ‘challenge’ or ‘opportunity’. By shifting my perception of an issue to being something I can learn from will hopefully to help me maintain a positive attitude throughout my role as a peer mentor.

By viewing problems as opportunities, I can reduce the burden of stress that accompanies problems and make them less intimidating. Seeing problems in a positive light helps to contextualise the problem, allowing me to think about the effects and potential responses to it, therefore making it easier to break down and analyse. Problems are inevitable and accepting this is arguably the first step towards handling them in a more positive, effective way.

When conducting my research, one thing that consistently came up was the advice of distancing yourself from the problem. Once the initial stage has passed, distancing myself from the problem can help me to think of the problem as a separate entity, totally unrelated to me. My role as a peer mentor sometimes makes me feel a lot of responsiblity for my mentees problems but by taking a step back, I can recognise that there is support I can seek that will help me to solve any issues my mentees have. I will devise a plan of steps I can follow to remain positive throughout my time as a peer mentor.

Whilst researching effective techniques for improving verbal communication I came across many ideas that I had never heard of before such as positive visualisation. A blog called ‘Virtual Speech’ discussed the power of the mind and how if we think and breathe before we speak, it helps to avoid nervousness and speaking before thinking which can reduce the credibility of what it is we are saying. I often say the first thing that comeds to my mind rather than thinking about what exactly I wish to say. Positive visualisation is a tactic employed by athletes before a race and by visualising themselves winning and focusing on this idea intensely, they give themselves a mental boost which results in a physical one. I know a peer mentor meeting with seven people is not the same thing as a race or presentation in front of hundreds of people but due to my lack of confidence, it sometimes feels like it. By using this technique before my meetings I will hopefully be able to prepare for the communication my meetings demand and therefore feel more confident in verbally communicating with my mentees, especially if I take some time to think before speaking.

One thing I found interesting when conducting my research was the technique of using the full range of your voice. I had never previously thought about the tone of voice I was using when communicating with my mentees. The human voice is capable of 24 notes on a musical scale but we only use about three of these everyday. My research told me that using a wider range will allow me to develop my communication skills effectively and help me enthuse or persuade people that I am talking to. Another tip I found similar to this is to breathe deeply to communicate effectively. Maximising breath and filling lungs when you speak is important for building effective communication skills and I found an exercise for this:

1. Stand in the Neutral Position and put your hands on your stomach.
2. Breathe deeply.
3. Try to push your hands out as you breathe in by filling your ribs.
4. Increase your awareness of this happening as you breathe – the movement and expansion of the ribs.

As well as trying this breathing exercise, something I think will be helpful for me is to practice speaking, whether it be to no one or to my boyfriend but I think that practicing having to run a meeting, ask questions, come up with helpful answers will be beneficial. Although I dedicated specific time to research effective communication, I will continue to do so throughout the semester to find more techniques or advice that can help my progress. I think one of my biggest inhibiting factors that hinders my development is my confidence. I plan to research how to improve confidence when communicating to hopefully solve my lack of confidence and help me to be more comfortable when communicating in my role.

The past two weeks, I have implemented research I found on active listening into my peer mentor meetings to try and help me be a more effective communicator. I consciously tried to do things such as focus on the conversation/avoid distractions and conclude with a summary statement. Only three people turned up to my meetings so it was easier to actively listen with less people there.

On the day I had a lot of things going on including academic, personal and emotional issues that were overwhelming to me so it was difficult to try and fully concentrate on the conversations and interactions, but I feel as though I successfully did it. I tried to make sure I was truly in the moment by maintaining eye contact so that my mentees knew I was present in the conversation and I think that made them feel more at ease. I found that by putting these thoughts to the back of my head, I took in more of the conversation and felt that I was much more engaged than I would usually be. It was interesting that my mentees seemed to open up more than usual too, so perhaps they sensed my active role in the conversation and that then inspired their engagement.

Some of my mentees came to me with issues they were having surrounding academic workload and worrying about housing for second year. Alongside directing them to the correct places in terms of support and providing advice and resources, I made sure to try and really listen/understand their problems. I utilised the idea of finishing the conversation with a concluding statement to show them that I was listening. This surprisingly (in my opinion) made my mentees confidence in me increase as they have come to me since these meetings for more advice and support. I didn’t expect such a difference after only two weeks but I guess my research has worked and I’m not going to complain! Although I was nervous to try out something new at these meetings I believe it was a success and one of my mentees even stayed at the end of the meeting to thank me for being so supportive, this made all of the stress really worthwhile.

The thing I found made a profound difference was trying to avoid distractions. I did not realise how much I was previously distracted during my peer mentor meetings and this resulted in me not being present or able to communicate effectively. I read online to imagine physically pushing all of the stress, emotions and thoughts to the back of your mind to help me focus on what was important in that meeting, supporting my mentees and being a good mentor. As silly as it may sound, this worked. For those 30 minutes I didn’t think once about the large amount of things I had going on at that time so this is definitely something I will be using in my day to day communication as well as my mentor role.