Forbes magazine posted an article called ’10 Steps to Effective Listening’ which provides simple but effective active listening tips such as maintaining eye contact, observing non-verbal cues etc. One tip I found particularly interesting as I hadn’t considered that I may do this is to be attentive, but relaxed. Sometimes I think as people we want to try and look overly interested in what the person or people we are communicating with have to say, that we forget to look normal… You don’t have to stare directly at them the whole time or nod your head every second (something I think I tend to do) to let them know you are listening to them. You just have to be present, give them attention and apply yourself.
The article said to try and avoid distractions such as accent, speech, your own thoughts, feelings, or biases, which I found thought-provoking as I don’t consciously try to block out distractions. I often do find myself focusing on what I have on my plate that week, what I’m going to put on my shopping list, the great Australian accent one of my mentees has or other things that just are not relevant and may make me seem like I am not actively listening.
Another thing that intrigued me when reading this article was that nonverbal cues can sometimes say more than words. People often focus on only the words someone is communicating to them but to be an effective active listener, you must listen to what their body language and mannerisms are saying. This enables you to get a better idea of how the person is feeling regarding what they are discussing. As a listening skills exercise, the article suggests to, at the end of conversations where information is exchanged, conclude with a summary statement to show the person that you have listened and get yourself into a routine of actively listening and retaining information. I will try this in my next meeting with my mentees, at the end of the session to help bring it to an end I will summarise what we have spoken about, anyone’s specific issues and what solutions we have either come up with or will hope to. Hopefully by doing this, I will improve my active listening skills and train myself to always actively listen.
When reading Harvard Business Review, a general management magazine I came across an article called ‘What Great Listeners Actually Do’ that describes four main findings: good listening entails more than being silent while the other person speaks, good listening includes interactions that build a person’s self-esteem, good listening was a co-operative conversation and good listeners tend to make suggestions. A general concensus from my research is that active listening is complex but so effective if done correctly. In order to develop my active listening skills I will devise a plan to implement my findings into my role as a Peer Mentor.