Preschool to Primary is a massive jump for both parents and children. It’s the first moment you realise your child is no longer a pre-schooler but instead is ready for the big school. We recently had a virtual coffee morning, where our three lovely guest speakers shared their own experience, navigating the move to primary school.
First, we had Dr Tora Smulders-Srinivasan – a lecturer of Biomedical Sciences at Teesside University who shared her experience of helping her two children manage the transition, followed by Annie Robinson and Natalie Costello from Durham MAMS (a highly active parents network based at Durham University) who provided their own insights into this transition.
Below are the top tips, each speakers’ contribution and the Q & A for approaching this milestone.
If you have any other advice or tips please comment below.
Top Tips
- Look Beyond the Rankings
All our speakers could agree that rankings are not the best indicator of a good school. They all highly recommend you visit the schools beforehand as that can influence how you feel about certain schools. Some schools put extra effort in when showing you around the school which makes you feel more welcomed and confident that this is a place where you want your child to be.
- Buy Enough Uniform (don’t forget the stain remover!)
Moving from preschool to primary does not mean children automatically stop spilling food or drinks on their shirt. I can vouch for this as a student, I still remember spilling food and drinks till the very end of primary school – much to my mother’s horror. So, make sure you get plenty of uniform and stain remover. A parent suggested that although some schools have branded white button downs, rather buy ASDA ones so you can replace them faster and won’t break the bank! Another helpful tip is to buy Velcro shoe as laces are difficult and time consuming compared to Velcro which is super easy to slip on and off while saving children the stress of laces.
- Make Sure to Label Everything
Another parent highly recommended labelling uniforms to ensure there are no mix ups with other children’s uniforms. “If I could, I would label socks”
- Teach them School Skills (zipping a coat, carrying a tray etc.)
One of the speakers highlighted that the worries of children going to primary school are completely different to parents. They are more focused on the skills they need to know such as how to zip up their coat, how to put on a jumper, and most importantly how to carry a tray with food on it.
- Know Who is the Visible Contact and Their Complaint Policy
On a much more serious note, as a parent, in addition to the environment, your child’s safety is the number one priority. If you feel that there is something to be raised, make sure you know who to contact. Furthermore, knowing how the school handles your complaints, especially about EDI (if this is something that could potentially affect you) is important.
- Look for Online Groups for Parents Whose Children are Attending the Same Intake
This can be particularly useful for children transitioning to a new school where they do not know many people. It’s also great for further along in the year as many parents end up posting important notices – which could potentially get lost in the little one’s school bag. Another tip is that local soft play centre tends to do play dates for school intakes – a perfect place for you to meet other parents and children.
- Don’t be Afraid to Ask Questions
This is something we always say to children but as we grow older, we slowly forget that every question is important and likely that someone else is thinking the same thing! Your child will spend a lot of time at school – you have every right to ask a question. Instead, channel what you tell your child and do the same.
- Be Aware of Entry Requirements
Some schools in the U. K are faith based, so it is important to consider this when picking a school. The choice is up to you but if you are picking a faith school different to your faith there are sometimes different criteria and requirements. These are typically clearly stated on the school’s website so, please do have a look.
Guest Speakers
Dr Tora Smulders-Srinivasan
Tora has two boys (15 and 11) who completed this transition a few years ago. Her oldest son was in a private nursery before he joined the school, while most of his school cohort had previously gone to the school’s nursery. As she was new to the school as well, she was worried about him integrating and making new friends. Her son had mixed emotions as well; he was quite excited to start school but was worried about the move to a new school. Despite being quite young he felt a bit scared to start however as the term began, he was able to fit in and make new friends while enjoying his transition. For him she felt the real struggle was the transition from reception to year one as there is no more play time, and children must sit down and do actual work – quite draining for a child new to this.
- She highly recommends you visit the schools and a get a feel of them before ranking them in the application. And lastly, this is a new experience for both you and your child so remember that you need to be patient and flexible and sometimes just need to go with the flow.
Contrastingly, her younger son, had already gone to the school’s nursery. Her youngest child, as young children do, tended to deal with his worries by acting out. The start of first term was a challenge with most nights taking a great deal to get him to go to bed despite being exhausted. Dr. Smulders-Srinivasan said keeping her discipline and learning how to use the word “no,” was what helped her get through this. Half-term holidays were a blessing as he was able to rest and relax with his grandparents which really helped him.
Annie Robinson
Annie has two daughters, with her second daughter making the transition this year. Annie echoed Dr. Smulders-Srinivasan’s statements about a bigger transition from reception to first year as there is a lot more desk work and not so much play! Luckily, Annie’s eldest daughter had previously made the transition to the school her youngest was transitioning to, so she did not feel many effects from COVID-19. However, she found it upsetting that her daughter would not experience the normal transition days. Annie said it was a daunting but rewarding experience as it is a moment you are seeing your child grow up and take their first big steps into the world.
- Listen to that “gut feeling” when deciding on your preferred school. For example, when deciding between schools, one of the visited schools had an ethos which resonated with her which was a big reason she decided on that school. She said that one especially important aspect to keep in mind is, “you want your child to thrive not just survive.”
Natalie Costello
When Natalie’s son made the transition from nursery, he was in a cohort of 60 children which made her incredibly nervous as he would not know 59 of the other children. However, her concerns soon disappeared as she learned young people are much more resilient than we think resulting in her son thriving at school and making new friends.
- Make sure you keep yourself together in front of your children to prevent projecting your worries onto them because they have their own worries. She felt not showing her or her husband’s concerns in front of their son really helped him make it through those school gates.
- Natalie also notes that the school visit was what really convinced her as she met the head teacher, who was so welcoming to the whole family.
- As her daughter is now making the change, she does know a few kids transitioning but Natalie emphasised that it is important to involve your child in the process. This includes taking them with to buy a new backpack, helping them pick their uniform and so on.
Q&A Session
A little recap of our Q&A session after our speakers’ presentations. We were lucky enough to have Kelechi Dibie who was a school governor for 15 years and here she left us with some valuable advice.
- Ofsted inspections do not happen as often as you think. In fact, Ofsted reports you are reading could be relatively older, without updates from schools changing through the years. Do not rely on them as much as you would think you should.
- Hand-me-down uniform groups are a fantastic way to save money on your uniform. Most schools have second-hand programmes with accepted uniforms being in good condition. This can ensure a lot of money is saved if you have multiple kids.
A Parent whose son is moving from nursery to primary school:
Q: My child does not know anyone going to the school he is going too and has said that he wants someone to go with him from nursery. He is very anxious, and his confidence is reliant on his friends and most of the children know each other from their nursery, what should I do?
A: All three speakers made it clear that little children are much more resilient than we think they are. Instead of snowballing his worries, you should focus on comforting him. Natalie suggested making sure your children know they can still meet up with their nursery friends and by mentioning any worries you may have to the teacher to help guide them. Dr. Smulders-Srinivasan said that at this age, friend groups constantly change with instant bonds forming with almost anyone new.
Q: You all mentioned that the children are tired after school, but nursery is 8 to 5 for my son – will it be the same?
A: During school, the children must behave for the entire day while listening and concentrating. This is a great deal of effort for them, resulting in their mental exhaustion by the end of the day. Natalie suggested not to plan too many weekend activities in the beginning but rather to use that time for them to relax. She remembered her son needed a quick power nap when he got home – despite not needing a nap for the past 2 years!