Men’s Rugby League
Newcastle 1sts 42
Leeds Met 2nds 14
A wet and rainy Cochrane Park was the venue for another Wednesday afternoon win for the pride of the North: Newcastle University’s Rugby League. After numerous solid performances in previous weeks, Greek fresher Andreas Methenitis proved he is not as hard as he looks by dropping out late on. Rob Corner was brought in and attempted to fill his size 7 boots. Handsome hooker Matt Woods also wimped out with a minor ankle injury, despite being spotted kicking a ball in Jesmond Tesco car park just days earlier. Matt Toe’nail was brought in as an ample replacement.
Four points clear in the league, NURL were well aware that a win in this game would all but guaranteed them the league weeks ahead of schedule. Not to be named , again due to recent complaints, NURL’s top points scorer was playing at 50% fitness, but still managed to set up George Matthew for his first of the day from a well-worked scrum move. As regular readers are well aware, the Nottingham preppy rarely scores in ones, and this proved to be the first of a hat trick within 40 minutes.
After recent cocky facebook status’ and numerous emails to fellow AU clubs about how he would easily make any first team, Jonny Watts finally began to walk the walk. A 40m break down the right side from Tom Clarke eventually led to the unnamed halfback getting his talented hands on the ball; then cross field kicking to an awaiting Watts, who safely finished in the corner with Irish imbecile Dave Knox adding the extras from wide. After not scoring all season, Big Boy Watts now had a taste for it, and was not going to be stopped, sliding over for his second later on after a perfectly weighted forward pass from clueless pineapple head Marty ‘I like to party’ Jones.
By this point, the Owls were in full control and this metaphorical wheel, which I so often speak about, was this week steered by last year’s man of bash, Myles Hudson, who put in a bruising display which nearly saw him lose an ear in contact. Jack English was then brought on out of position into the centres, dropping the ball immediately. Eager to make amends, Jack later used all his native strength to muscle his way over the line for a further 4 points.
Dan Capaross’ try scoring record for the Owls in previous years has been very questionable, however this can now be compared to ‘waiting for a bus’ – you wait and wait then two come along at once. After 70+ appearances, the PHD drongo bagged his first try last week only to go and get another this week in even finer fashion. Staying with the older end of the team, Andrew Beanz scored a rare try to finish another successful day for the league toppers. A special mention must go to horse loving farmer boy Charles Hyland, who was solid in both attack and defence.
Unbeaten but wounded, the Owls will be resting their wings this week to ensure an away win at Edge Hill next Wednesday to wrap up the league title for the third time in three years.