Gossip Wench here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the Thespian elite. An anonymous source has told me that Will Shakespeare might not be as genius as we all thought he was…

Thought his pastoral, mythological, wit-filled plays were all his own ideas? Our source says think again. All we’re saying is maybe buy a ticket for Lyly’s Galatea before you fight for a place in Will’s entourage. #ad 

You didn’t hear it from us, but this actor trying to be a playwright seems pretty sad…maybe you just weren’t cut out for the stage? Don’t get me wrong, he’s getting pretty popular. But

if you’re going to copy the framework of someone’s play, at least keep the chastity agenda: it’s not classy having fulfilled desires as the solution of your plot. Elizabeth wouldn’t approve of this trashiness taking over the stage, and neither do we… take a cold shower, Slagspeare.

We all wrote our book reports on Pyramus and Thisbe in middle school, and we’re kind of over it now. Using an ass instead of a stag sums up the difference between Ovid and our pal Will: stop trying to make Metamorphoses for the common people happen…it’s not going to happen. 

I don’t know about you gossipers but we’re off to the Globe tonight to see what all the fuss is about. It’s not all doom and gloom though, Drama Boy, as your fans say you’ve got a way with words; let’s see if it’s enough!

Midsummer Night’s Dream? Or Midsummer Night’s Scheme…

xoxo, Gossip Wench. 

Charlotte Slinger, Holly Mawdsley, Pearl Andrews-Horrigan, Phoebe Hearst.